I was twelve years old. I toiled over a Christmas artwork school assignment working many evenings to perfect my painting with no art training. Upon its completion, my parents took me to a frame shop where I chose the frame. My parents both worked, supporting four children living in a homey modest house. Money was often tight. Their actions told me they respected
my accomplishment and me.
Something happened to me that day. This monumental acknowledgment altered my internal chemistry. Having been a very scrawny, sickly girl who almost died several times, I had a weak self concept. At ten years of age someone was swinging a shovel at a bee and accidentally hit my head, putting a hole in it. Thereafter, I commonly heard from peers, “What’s wrong with you….you gotta hole in your head?” Self-concept sunk to an all time low. The frame choosing raised me on the Self-concept meter.
Real time 3D feedback and encouragement (sometimes called a reward) has a powerful impact in certain situations. Verbal acknowledgment with direct eye contact and compliments are golden. I was complimented but the frame was optimal encouragement allowing me to see myself and feel worthy in a new way.
Encouraging words and hugs are fabulous feedback. Physical rewards are not for every good act. 3D real time Encouragement is priceless when it helps children to see and FEEL the CONNECTION of being ‘seen’ and valued. Encouragement IS nourishment. Internal dialogue can run away with us in the wrong direction. Using encouragement as a fuel tool to nourish children is immeasurable with its impact as feedback and being valued. True encouragement is not bribing which teaches manipulation.
Encouragement Nourishment Tips:
- NOTICE what life areas a child could use some growth in as well a accomplishments well done. Chores? “Every time you do your chore without being reminded, I see how caring you are.” Manners. “Geeze you even reminded me to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when you did i today. Thank you for helping me.
- CONNECTION. Children need to feel connected to. Encouragement/compliments/rewards all let children know they are seen and appreciated. It helps them to flourish.
- BOUNDARIES AND TRADES. It is not advantageous for children when bad choices are overlooked and not dealt with. Feedback can anchor them with Trades. Not listening/respecting may equal lost tech time or an extra chore. It is important to learn what a bad choice is worth…there is a ‘trade’ which teaches through having an experience.
- ENCOURAGEMENT is NOURISHMENT and propels children
forward into more of who they are in the core of their potential to feel their SUPERKID POWER!